Did it make a lick of sense for the Premier League to randomly schedule seven of its 10 weekend fixtures to all kick off at the same time Saturday? No.
Somehow, though, the stars aligned on the last day in March for a truly crazy 45 minutes of action across the League, which reminded me of the days when only CBS aired the NCAA Tournament so you'd get, sometimes, three or four buzzer-beaters in succession.
Of the seven games, only Everton's 2-0 win over West Brom didn't feature much intrigue.
Everything else was riveting, must-watch stuff -- all at once.
You had Fulham -- getting another goal from Clint Dempsey (albeit a tap-in) -- hanging on for a win over Noriwch City.
Wigan, once again defying all logic, finding something once the weather turns warm and beating Stoke City 2-0 to move a little closer to safety. Bolton rallied and held off Wolves with a 3-2 win, pushing themselves in a pretty good shape with eight games to play. Wolves, meanwhile are probably done.
Arsenal's great run of form came to screeching halt, with QPR beating them 2-1. Now QPR, which has been pretty awful, has back-to-back home wins over Liverpool and Arsenal, getting goals from of all people Adel Taarabt and Samba Diakiete. Arsenal, meanwhile, is now level on points with Tottenham.
Most surprising was Sunderland going ahead 3-0 on Manchester City, only for City to get two goals in the span of two minutes to make it 3-3, but a winner never came despite some frantic, nervy, break-taking 10 minutes.
Chelsea was on cruise control, up 2-0 at Aston Villa, only to see Villa rally behind a goal and an assist from American Eric Lichaj. As quick as that happened, Chelsea was back ahead on a tap in from Branislav Ivanovic.
Most insane of all? A goal from Fernando Torres in the last seconds for Chelsea.
Guess somebody bought a Mega Millions ticket Friday night.
When they talk about the Premier League being the best league in the world, it's for Saturdays like this.
Sundaze, Things Are Gonna Get Easier:
Newcastle United, bless them, are now even on points with Chelsea after a convincing 2-0 win at home against Liverpool. Re-read that sentence for full effect. A little more about Newcastle below. The Mapgies might not make the Champions League this year, but it's not far off.
Liverpool?
What else can be said? Should we check the dressing room at Anfield for fried chicken and beer?
Team seems totally complacent and rudderless. Another fine mess.
Later on Sunday Spurs stopped the rot, beating Swansea City 3-1, playing with a verve for the first time in the League in quite some time. Looks like Harry Redknapp has realized that tinkering with what worked didn't make sense and the path to the Champions League will be written with Gareth Bale on the left, Emmanuel Adebayor (two goals! set pieces!) ranging up top and Rafael van der Vaart tucked behind him. Naturally it helps when Little Luka Modric has one of those days in the midfield pulling all the right strings.
It was indeed refreshing to see Spurs play with some swagger for a change, even with William Gallas wheezing in the middle of the defense.
The way to broke this weekend, a four-way dance between Arsenal/Spurs/Chelsea and Newcastle isn't crazy for the last two Champions League positions.
Crazy, but that's how it goes:
If there's a better Internet soccer meme going than, "Mario Balotelli does thing" I'd like to see it.
The insane Italian was at his best and worst -- perhaps the same thing -- Saturday in City's 3-3 draw with Sunderland. Yes, he scored two goals -- including a thumper in the second half -- but he also fought over taking a free kick and did enough for Roberto Mancini to proclaim he'll sell him(*) over the summer.
Back in August, one of the few preseason proclamations I actually got right was that if there was one worry for City, it's putting so much faith in a pair of patently unstable, unhinged mentally forwards in Balotelli and Carlos Tevez. The Tevez affair pretty much blew up in Mancini's face and he'll have to be offloaded, banished to Elba or set adrift on an ice floe come July.
For a long time I've been writing that City, for all the money it's spent on players, still lacks a personality. For all the quiet dignified leadership of Vincent Kompany and Yaya Toure, there's still the lingering craziness of Balotelli and Tevez that tends to waft in at critical moments. Is this the only reason City are now five points behind United, Monday's late game against Blackburn pending (possibly a banana peel), no. If anything, City are wearing down and the strain of the title race is clearly wearing them down as Roberto Mancini looks a man who's unable to come up with any new ideas, basically as lost as Ned Stark on the steps of the Sept of Baelor.
Soccer, or any sport, isn't music where a talented, insane genius can thrive like a Brian Wilson sitting in an indoor sand box and churning out melodies. When you have the out-and-out craziness that follows Balotelli -- think him popping up at the press conference of the new Inter Milan coach -- it's going to wear thin, especially in the locker room. Apparently he and Toure had a bust up, which certainly isn't going to help morale. Balotelli could become one of the five best players in the world -- look at that second goal vs. Sunderland -- but his circus act ultimately looks like it'll hold him back. Seems like it's impossible to have the impish immature, fuck-it-all let's have a laugh attitude of Tyler the Creator and win critical soccer competitions concurrently.
(*) Really, could one man make MLS more interesting than Balotelli? Aren't those DP slots created for the likes of him? Just think of the possibilities of Balotelli in New York or Los Angeles .. or Columbus.
It should be noted, too, that Sunderland have been crafty in 2012 and took four points off City -- and probably should have grabbed all six. Not sure what the ceiling is for Sunderland, beyond eighth or ninth, but with Seb Larsson, Stephane Sessagnon, Jack Colback, James McClean and Simon Mingolnet, there's a nice core. It'll be up to Martin O'Neill to decide if Nic Bendtner is worth the trouble to take on full-time from Arsenal. The Dane is probably going to want huge wages, meaning he'll probably wind up with somebody like Juventus and ride the bench -- he can be replaced at the Stadium of Light.
Around the League:
Not that many care about Wolves, but Roger Johnson (worst signing of the summer) and keeper Wayne Hennessey nearly came to blows in the loss to Bolton. .. Players probably have zero loyalty these days, but Hatem Ben Arfa better not try to run away from Newcastle United for a fat paycheck, especially if he stars for France at the Euro in June. The club stuck with him after Nigel de Jong broke his ankle last season. If the Magpies hold on to him and Tim Krul, they really could push for the Champions League. That said, somebody is going to make a big offer for Chieck Tiote, which they should take the money for since his "name" value is probably worth more than his actual value at this point. Sort of an underrated to overrated scenario. ..Bundesliga teams care about balancing the check books, so you know Hoffenheim will glady sell off Glyfi Sigurdsson in the summer. Chances are, with his fifth goal on-loan at Swansea, he's playing himself off of Brendan Rodgers team. .. Sad to hear Giorgio Chinaglia died on Saturday, aged only 65. A little before my time, but a nice story here from Harry Redknapp about him. .. Arsenal was definitely due a stinker and for the first time in a while, vs. QPR, the Gunners played like they thought they could just throw their cleats on the field and win. .. Best wishes for Stylian Petrov as he battles leukemia. By almost all accounts one of the good guys in the sport.
Fantasy Team O' the week:
CB's Flux Capacitors (my favorite name ever) takes top marks with 57 points, thanks to Sigurdsson, Theo Walcott and Clint Dempsey.
One Other Thing:
Don't watch a ton of movies, but somehow I stumbled across this super-Canadian hockey movie, "Goon" on XBox Live Saturday and it was well worth it. Solid, profane, funny 90-minute sports movie that got all the little details right.
Does it reinvent the wheel? No, but it's worth a watch if only for the fake minor league hockey teams and logos -- and some pretty amazing hockey fights.