Where are we as soccer fans in America?
Certainly past infancy and the terrible twos. Perhaps we're now, in the petulant teen mode.
We want everything -- immediately. Right now! Every game, every second, every play should be a World Cup final multiplied by the Champions League wrapped in the 5-foot-7 frame of Lionel Messi with a cooing Ray Hudson shrieking in the background about champagne bubbles.
Right or wrong behavior or mentality, that's sometimes how it seems. Yes, sure, it's progress from the "modern" era of U.S. soccer that began with the 1990 World Cup, but maybe it's a little unrealistic.
One place we can all, as American soccer fans, agree we probably need to grow up -- or at least grow a thicker skin -- is when the old, dying wave of media members with an ingrained hatred of the Beautiful Game open up their yaps or get behind their keyboards and spew garbage, as Joe Queenan, a "humorist" did in the Wall Street Journal, trying to frame the U.S. U-23 team's failure to qualify for the London Olympics as proof noboy in America cares about the sport.
At the same time last week, apparently, UFC president Dana White called soccer boring in advance of promoting a fight at a soccer stadium in Brazil, leading to some banter back and forth on Twitter.
My question: why give these trolls any credence?
The Queenan story in the WSJ was so fraught with factual errors it was actually hilarious and, come on, does anyone truly care if the UFC president does or doesn't like something? Does it cause you to lose sleep at night?
Same thing goes for the King of American "soccer haters," Jim Rome. His schtick is about as fresh as rollerblades, stuck somewhere in 1993 where calling your listeners "clones" was considered edgy.
Truly, why engage people who are have nothing left to cling onto other than the fact, as has been proven for years, that America soccer fans have the softest skin in the world? (I, like all of us, is guilty of this, admittedly.)
Look, in a way, trolling especially via Twitter and other Internet means fascinates me. Gun to may head, the ultimate troll account, @Fansince09 might be the most hilariously brilliant use of the medium out there. If you don't get the joke, I feel bad for you.
As it is, when you go onto an online forum whining -- yes whining -- about the mean things a Queenan rights or a Rome says, you're playing into their hands when realistically these idiots are no better than a pranking troll like Fansince09, albeit much less offensive or hilarious. For decades there was no lazier sports' columnist trope that writing how soccer was for commies or would never be accepted in America, and watch the teary-eyed fans lash back and retort.
More than anything, as soccer and soccer fans mature in America, shouldn't we be past worrying about who does or doesn't like the sport? Sure, the anchors of "SportsCenter" still can't pronounce half the names correctly when they read a highlight -- but soccer plays are a fixture in the daily "Top 10" plays.
Over the weekend when New York Cosmos legend Giorgio Chinaglia died it garnered more attention that was expected, all with the proper amount of reverence -- especially for a player who was most famous for a league that became extinct nearly 30 years ago.
And let's face it too, when the NSAL died in the early 1980s soccer did nearly fade away from the American sports landscape, nowadays you almost can't go a day without a major soccer event on television. Just look at this week, starting with the weekend's European action, the Monday Manchester United/Blackburn game, the (UEFA) Champions League and CONCACAF Champions League on Tuesday and Wednesday, MLS and Europa League on Thursday .. there's never a dull moment.
That's not even to mention the new generation of kids on playgrounds kicking a ball around or sitting in their bedrooms trash-talking me when they beat me at FIFA, who've grown up not knowing a world where soccer wasn't part of the mainstream American sports culture.
So yeah, if you want to fall into the fading, desperate trap in the last wheezing breathes of the soccer-haters, be my guest. Yet when people leap to the defense of the sport, they themselves end up coming off as preachy, evangelists. It's a free country. People can like or dislike sports as they please. Personally, I loathe professional golf and tennis. I understand why people are interested in it -- maybe not rooting for an individual golfer who probably wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire -- but it doesn't bother me one way or another. Yet no matter how much purple prose is waxed poetic about Roger Federer, I'm just not going to care. In one ear, out the other.
Granted, soccer fans have thin skins for years of being told that their sport: sucks, is for fancy European divers and will never be popular in America. At the same time, trying to convince something why that MUST like something gets tiresome after a while.
In the world we live in circa 2012, shouldn't we all better than that? There's enough high-level soccer easily accessed that a person can decide on their own whether or not they like it.
Shouldn't we all have grown up, if only a little?
And isn't one of the biggest leaps from teenager to adult learning to be comfortable in your own skin and not worrying about what everybody else thinks?
Friday!:
* Swansea City v. Newcastle United -- (Live, FSC, 11:30 a.m.) Glad this game is on live, albeit in the middle of the morning on a Friday. Two good teams. Swansea is fun to watch at home. Newcastle is still pushing for a place, deservedly, in Europe, posting the same 15-8-8 record so far as Chelsea. You have to hand it to Alan Pardew, too, keeping Newcastle right there when Demba Ba's form has completely fallen off since returning from the Africa Cup of Nations. .. Swansea City 1, Newcastle United 1
Saturday:
* Sunderland v. Tottenham -- (Live, ESPN2, 7:45 a.m.) Sunderland took it to a listless Manchester City for 70 minutes last weekend. As much as the team has improved under Martin O'Neill, it's still wildly inconsistent. Aside from a stretch in early February of three straight wins, Sunderland alerts wins, losses and draws. Is Tottenham, which woke up last Sunday vs. Swansea going to be able to punish Sunderland on the road? If Gareth Bale is at his best on the left, they could. .. Sunderland 1, Tottenham 2
* Bolton v. Fulham -- Fabrice Muamba is now walking. Maybe, just, maybe his story alone inspires Bolton the rest of the way. That and the return of Martin Petrov on the wing. .. Bolton 2, Fulham 1
* Liverpool v. Aston Villa -- (Live, FSC+, 10 a.m.) Loser here cements status as the most underwhelming, disappointing team of the season. .. Liverpool 2, Aston Villa 0
* West Brom v. Blackburn Rovers -- Going forward, with the Olsson twins (eye roll at a bad pun here), Grant Hanley, Junior Hoilett and Steven N'Zonzi, you'd have to like Blackburn's roster going forward a little more than West Brom, which has sort of been the "meh" team of the season. Nothing special. Nothing flashy. Just sort of there. Not a ton of personality. You know, meh. .. West Brom 1, Blackburn 1
* Chelsea v. Wigan Athletic --(Live, FSC, 10 a.m.) Have fun, here, Roberto di Matteo trying to figure out a way to juggle the Chelsea roster between fighting for fourth place and preparing to play Barcelona in the Champions League semifinals.Fortunately John Terry, Ashley Cole and Frank Lampard will certainly be good sounding boards for what you should do. It's funny how before even a single ball has been kicked in their semifinal tie that Chelsea has been completely written off. Whenever that happens, strange things tend to occur. I'm not saying Chelsea wins over two legs, but more numerous people to already play the "no chance" is out-and-out absurd. .. Chelsea 2, Wigan 0
* Norwich City v. Everton -- A chance to finish above Liverpool in the table as well as knocking the Reds out of the FA Cup in the s
emifinals. Can't ask for more than that, nowadays at least, can you Everton fans? .. Norwich City 1, Everton 1
* Stoke City v. Wolves -- (Live, FSC, 12:30 p.m.) No idea how this is the late, standalone game on Saturday. Somebody was asleep at the switch. Diehards only. .. Stoke City 2, Wolves 1
Sunday:
* Manchester United v. QPR -- (Live FSC+, 8:30 a.m.) Chances are Larry the Cable Guy isn't a soccer fan, but his "giterdone" catchphrase might as well be the club slogan for Manchester United this year. Also, Chicharito and Dimitar Berbatov (who?) have hardly been rampant this season, but when you get 15 combined goals from wingers Ashley Young, Nani and Antonio Valencia it helps make up for that. .. Manchester United 3, QPR 1
* Arsenal v. Manchester City -- (Live, FSC, 11 a.m.) Going out on a limb here, but I think Roberto Mancini ends up walking out of the Emirates the new Arsene Wenger, as in totally apoplectic, confused, bemused by his team's lack of guts. City is ready to cave completely in and the Gunners seem poised to break what's left of their title-winning resolve. .. Arsenal 4, Manchester City 1
Last round: 8-2
Season: 144-168