Analysis: Landon Donovans Everton Return

In short, wrote this long and winding essay on Thursday, woke up and re-read it on Friday at it was .. awful, just a big trainwreck of half-formed ideas, lame tangents and basically a gigantic waste of your time. So like a chef at a restaurant with a couple Michelin Stars instead of serving you, dear reader, slop I'm sending it back to the kitchen for a little more time to marinate.

What you're getting in its place are a couple scattershot, topical riffs and some Premier League picks for the weekend, aka something you can really sink your teeth into.

Welcome Back Lando:

Quick, name Everton's top Premier League scorer this season without looking. .. Have an answer?

Yuuup(tm), it's Apostolos Vellios with three. If you knew that, your prize is a pocket-sized take-home slice of Greece's European Union debt. After Vellios, it's defenders Phil Jagielka and Leighton Baines.

David Moyes, once again, is a miracle worker, though Everton hasn't scored in two matches and hasn't even registered a shot. Maybe that's why Landon Donovan is back on Merseyside for two months, well that and the fact he works on the Toffees pay range -- cheap.

Two seasons ago when Donovan landed on Merseyside as a pre-World Cup tune up it was a bit of a novelty, as in after flaming out in Europe three times, what could the best American player of his generation do in the world's best (or most popular) domestic league. By now everybody knows that narrative and how it turned out.

This time, Everton need whatever lift Donovan can bring, especially since -- again -- he works for scale.

You'd think Donovan slot into his familiar place on the left side of midfield where Everton has gotten inconsistent play from Diniyar Bilyaletdinov. Either that or Moyes tests him out in a more advanced role considering the lack of goals from Tim Cahill and the rest of the Everton front line. Wherever it is, Donovan is going to need to produce.

However it works out, in 2010 Donovan needed Everton. In 2012 Everton needs Donovan.

Draw 'em out:

Nothing too crazy from the Champion League Round of 16 draw, aside from the fact Chelsea -- amazingly -- didn't get paired up with Cypriot underdogs APOEL, instead getting Napoli. Arsenal gets unlucky in drawing up AC Milan, in what's probably the headline tie of the eight matches. Even without David Villa, it'd be a mild surprise if Barcelona doesn't beat Bayer Leverkausen somewhere in the 10-0 on aggregate range.

EPLNBA:

Quick comparison/rant/what-have-you ..

In the ashes of the NBA's latest labor deal, I have one major question .. why on Earth would you ever root for any team other than the Lakers, Heat, Knicks, Celtics or maybe Mavericks? Isn't every other team in the NBA essentially Sunderland or Bolton, i.e. hopeless chattel making up the numbers so the big fish have somebody to play on a forgettable Tuesday night in February?

The marquee/star players only want to play in the big markets in the NBA -- or places where it's sunny 90 percent of the time -- whereas the top soccer players only want to go to the big clubs like Manchester United/City, Chelsea and Arsenal .. where there really isn't any sun, so forget that part.

If there's a difference in soccer, at least a club isn't hoping for a draft lottery to change it's fortunes by pure luck. Then again, a perennial loser in the NBA can still -- theoretically -- make money and doesn't have to worry about relegation.

Suppose whichever side of the Atlantic you're on, it pays to be a frontrunner. 

All Aboard the Hype Train:

For pure soccer junkies, the Brazilian wunderkind Neymar is nothing new. We've been hearing bits and pieces about the kid from Santos with the insane anime haircuts for years now.

With Santos playing the Club World Cup this week in Japan and a probable match with Lionel Messi and Barcelona over the weekend, the "Neymar" machine has kicked into overdrive, mostly because of -- yet another -- sick goal scored.

Now the big story everybody with a keyboard wants to write is a) is Neymar the next Messi and b) can he apply those talents to the bright lights of European soccer?

Me? Is it okay to sit back and just enjoy Neymar for Neymar without projecting anything on him? Maybe that takes some of the fun out of it, but still, he's only 19 years old. There are so many variables in play for when -- and if -- he makes the move to Europe, which is almost alien in terms of style of play compared to the Brazlian League. Just think about the language barrier, the unprecedented hype, the coach, his teammates, almost everything.

One of the long-rumored landing spots if Real Madrid. You think Neymar and Jose Mourinho are going to see eye-to-eye? 

The kid is a true phenom in Brazil, loved by the people almost on Justin Beiber levels. Let's hope he lands in the right spot where his talents are allowed to thrive, because no matter what he's a guy who's fun to watch play. It's be a shame if that gets screwed up.

Blowing Up:

Another story into the inner workings of the Fox Soccer Report, this time from the New York Times. Great stuff.